Pain and Sorrow

Secret War Journal[23 October 2009] -- Second Post
Sitting on the bus after so long brought many memories...

I know I shouldn't be on the computer now but if I don't, I think I would just break down on the spot...

God, I miss the good 'ld days...

Those brought happy memories...

Yeah, on the bright side, I still have family and close friends.

Maybe I'm worrying too much, maybe I should calm down...

God! I need reassurances. But how to? Who could tell what's going to happen during and after "O" Levels...

God! Why am I on the verge of breaking down now?

WHY NOW?!

Argh!

How long...How long must I carry on this falsehood.
This self-delusional 'truth' that everything is fine in my life when it's so obviously not...

Had I made the wrong choice 4 years ago?
Or God had decided that I sinned too much 4years ago?

Why must I be subject to such mental torture...Ahhh!!!

If only..things could return the past as it was once was...

Peace and Quiet...when pain and sorrow never existed...

But that just my wishful-thinking, it could never happen. Just some fairy tale that is meant to be a bed-time story...

Maybe the confession years ago was entirely a mistake, maybe it didn't matter. Maybe I don't belong in this school, maybe I should had went to some other school, away from the world of lies that I live in.

White Lies. Lies. Pain Truth. Please go away...

Now I need a Seer more than ever...

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"Visions are possible futures that can be changed. Prophecies cannot be averted" - Anonymous

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P.S: Thank you Tze Yui, for lending me your calculator for the "O" Levels! Will return ASAP. Once again, Thank you...