Irony

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Secret War Journal[February 2012]
Don’t be so kind to me.
What face should I make?
With the words that have piled up I can’t see
Your face from the side.

Where is it? I can’t find the key I lost.
Sigh…I’m so tired of acting so stubborn when we disagree.

It’s just a little too far for my hand to reach.
I wonder if I truly want to grasp that shadow of yours.

Don’t be so kind to me.
Look, we’ll hurt each other again.
With the lies that have piled up I’m unable to move anymore.
Don’t look at me with those eyes.
What face should I make?
I’m completely lost, but someday
Maybe I’ll be able to smile.

It feels like I’ve spent so many days with you
But still, the words we exchanged were too few.

The distance between you and me is getting just a little closer
I can’t really catch you – even though there’s just a little left to go!

Don’t be so kind to me.
Look, we’ll hurt each other again.
With the lies that have piled up, I can’t hear your words.
Hiding my true voice,
I hum this melody.
I’ll entrust my body
To my slowly changing heart.

I don’t even know myself,
Even though I feel like I want to know about you.
I somewhat hold back these conflicting feelings
And feel my way through these invisible walls

Don’t be so kind to me.
Look, we’ll hurt each other again.
The lies that have piled up are just painful, right?
I want to go see you immediately
But I can't find my words
On at least the final page,
I want to show you my smile!

Mental Defect

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Secret War Journal[]

With each passing day, I feel a greater sense of overwhelming sorrow.
I probably could explain the cause, but I cannot express it in words.
My appetite has fallen, my joy running dry.
Colours turning grey, visions darkening.

What I grief, I grief for naught.
What I desire, I desire in vain.
What I gain, I gain nought.
What I see, I see nix.

Motivations runs dry, only to be filled again.

So much is missing.
SO much is obscured.
So much is lost.
One ponders on the meaning of his life.

Your existence is a sin.
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