What it means to be a Gunner

Secret War Journal[21 December 2012]
The fabled doomsday. While people were worrying whether the conspirators were right about 21 December 2012 being the end of the world, a small group of people were readying themselves for a parade that most of them had been looking forward to. The 13th Specialist Cadet Graduation Parade. After around 5 months of training to become a specialist, I have finally joined the ranks of many others to become a specialist.

March Pass, saluting to Chief Of Army, Singapore

No one said it was going to be easy. I had no illusion. There was much hardship. Like someone once told me. Life without challenge is without meaning. I hate to admit it but that is indeed true.

Suppose I were to attend the course and everything was smooth sailing for me in every manner, I think that me would had taken the role and responsibilities of being a specialist for granted. In addition, I would not feel proud to be part of the specialist family.

In fact, my course was not as easy as everyone else thought it would be. As some of my social circles would know, I am not exactly a very physically fit person. During my course, I was that close to failing it because I was having difficulty doing chin-ups then. Until now, I am not really sure why the number of pull ups I could do just fell by so much in the span of one week. I am guessing I had a really bad case of muscle fatigue.

It was through the help and support from my room mates did I manage to pass it in time. Thank you guys! For suffering with me and participating in physical training at night when it is your break time. ^^

When I passed the physical aspect hurdles of the course, it is time to concentrate on the technical details of my course. From carrying a heavy round (as heavy as a human being!) to sweating non-stop in the unforgiving sun. I would not say this is a kind of job that others imagine working in for the majority of their life. But hey, that is what I was tasked to do, and did we had.

Thus, it was with great pride that the lot of us graduated from the parade as specialist. If you were to ask me if I rather do something else in the army, I think it is likely I would stick to my guns. After all, once a gunner, always a gunner. Man, I am such a sucker. Hahas!

---

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

Annoyance

Secret War Journal[23 December 2012]
Just get out of my life. Out of my sight.

The sight of you disgusts me.

I hate people who do not reciprocate kindness given to them. These people do not deserve it.

---

So this is how is it, isn't it? Ha ha, how badly had I played my hand. Betrayed by my family. A demoness, let in to the Hold to torment me. At times like this, I do not know who to turn to. Perhaps there is no one to turn to. Ha ha. such is the reality of my life, no? In this world, the only person you can trust is yourself.

---

This world is cold and my heart is frost. Upon thine world, shalt I burn it to ashes.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Secret War Journal[15 December 2012]
After attending Playhouse 2012, Johnston, Qi Xiang and I decided to play LAN to kill time, since the movie starts at 8:30pm.

I am proud to inform you that, the seats this time round are well-positioned because I made the effort to go to the cinema early in the morning to buy the tickets. There was hardly anyone there then and I had a wide range of seats to choose from. :) *feels proud*

Some of you would be wondering why did I not just buy online. I mean why the hassle?! You're right. I did try to. Sadly, I do not own a debit nor a credit card. Furthermore I wanted to take advantage of certain discount when I buy the tickets over the counter. (which turned out to be a failure, by the way, the Hobbit was an exclusive movie until 16 December. As a result, there were no discount. :()

Soon, it was time for the movie. With only three of us, we decided to buy one popcorn combo and meatballs. However, I did not expect that the large size popcorn to be so small. Hahas, the irony. Like what Johnston said, the size of the large popcorn looks like the past regular size popcorn. We were contemplating whether to buy another popcorn combo since Johnston and I felt that there is a chance that we may finish the popcorn and the meatballs very fast, leaving us with nothing to eat.

Sure enough, before the movie was reaching midway, we finished our meatballs and popcorn. Hahas, we managed to survive without food for the remainder of the time in the cinema as the movie was great, in my opinion.
--
As many of you would know, the Hobbit: An unexpected journey was based on a book, prequel to the renowned trilogy - the Lord of the Rings. It was meant to be a book for children and centres on the adventures of the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins.

In this particular arc, Gandalf the Brown decided to involve the hobbit in an adventure with a merry company of dwarves to reclaim their ancient kingdom that was taken from them from a black dragon.

Apparently, after watching the movie, the studio behind the movie decided to include tales from the Silmarillion, explaining more about the lore in Tolkien's fantasy world and hinting the coming of the nazgul, with the appearance of a witchking.

Although I did not like the introduction of the movie, I must admit that the appearance of Frodo Baggins was effective in bringing back memories from the Lord of the Rings.

Gandalf! Ah the wizard is supposedly younger since the story is set 60 years before the events of the Lord of the Rings. However, as this movie is directed 10 years after the last Lord of the Rings film, Gandalf looked noticeably older which was ironic. XD Perhaps Gandalf the Brown was not yet adept in magic to make him look youthful.

Yet he is not the only wizard in middle earth! We know that there is Saruman the White ,who appears in the movie, but are there more? It is mentioned in the movie that there are 5 wizards in middle earth, one white, 2 brown, 2 blue. While the blue wizards did not appear in the movie, I would love to see future sequels explaining the roles that the Blues play.

Speaking of which, while the source material was quite a thin book, the addition of other source materials allowed the story to be made into a trilogy. This may seem like a letdown as one is tempted to think that it is some money making gimmick.
Well, I do not know if it is really the case but I felt that the pacing of the movie was good and given the length of the movie, it is justified to split it into at least 2 films.

Finally, another aspect that the film was successful in what the candid interactions between Bilbo and Gollum. It created an opportunity for comic relief and it was well-played.

Thus, this is definitely a film to watch this month and I felt that it was better than the Lord of the Rings trilogy but it is too early to say as this is just the first of the three.

M1 Playhouse 2012

Secret War Journal[15 December 2012]
Hi guys! Today is the day many NUS Medical students had practised for, Playhouse 2012!

As I would quote from them, "Playhouse is a yearly intra-faculty drama competition of a tremendous scale. Each year, students from every batch come together to put up 5 different plays, each lasting an hour, to compete with their fellow Meddies. This serves as the finale event for the yearly Intra-Faculty Games organized in conjunction with the Sports Directorate." 

For this event to be so successful, you have to give credit to the management, the external vendors, and of course the students who invested countless hours to perform these wonderful plays. :)
--
What I would like to focus today would be the first play during Playhouse 2012, also known as a play by the Team M1.

It is also the play that my friends Johnston and Trevor played a part in. :)

Synopsis
(I hope I described it accurately, hahas! I will update it when I confirm the details. :P)
The story revolves around a lady named Anna and her 5 unique (eccentric?) neighbours. It begins with the death of a fellow neighbour named Jansen which sparks off a series of emotional reactions and events involving the tenants of the apartment.

There are a few characters in the play.
First off, would be of course Anna, the main character. She portrays herself as an rational character among the tenants. Indeed, more often than not, she is the sensible character during the interactions with the other tenants.

Next, Grey. A highly cynical (& logical) guy who likes to think rationally but is secretly afraid of losing control. Personally, I do not see how he secretly fears losing control. Maybe I did not catch his reaction that demonstrates that. (I am such a poor audience. :O) He is at odds with Patricia, mainly due to their differences. [Last among the victims to die. Killed by a random burglar breaking into the house at the exact moment he joked about he would be killed, to demonstrate how absurd Anna sounded. Talk about speaking about the devil.]

Walter. Jansen's father. He is senile, possibly because he was not able to handle the grief from losing his son. A good portion of his airing time was spent emphasizing how he still believes Jansen is still alive and insisting the tenants to call him down for dinner. He has a granddaughter. (I am not sure what's her name. Sorry.) [2nd to die, after Jansen, supposedly from natural death. Witness: His granddaughter.]

Walter's granddaughter, named Lily. A child that was badly abused by her parents in the past. As a result, she keeps a doll by her side. She interacts with people often by referring to her doll or speaks in a third person manner. She reminds me of the character Alice in Alice in Wonderland. That makes her a bit creepy in nature, no? [4th to die. From aspirin overdose, taken secretly when Luke brings a box of aspirin to the living room.]

Zoe. A girl that loves the colour pink. Anything in pink is cool to her. She is rather self-centred, or it is just me. She was not really fond of Jansen. Thus she was not greatly affected by his death. She is a party animal and loves to socialise with people. [3rd to die, from a faulty power socket resulting in a lethal electric shock. She was drunk then, causing her brains to be addled.]

Patricia. Seemingly over-paranoid about many things, she stammers when she talks and thinks the whole world is out to get her, and the tenants. It worsened with the death of Jansen where she believes that Jansen's thyroid cancer can be spread by being near his corpse. When a new tenant is expected to live in Jansen's unit and the newcomer's name is known, she associates his name, Luke with Leukaemia, proclaiming him as an agent of death. Convinced, she is opposed with the idea of allowing Luke coming into the apartment as the new tenant. She is at odds with Grey due to her supposed delusions that Luke is a murderer and is out to kill every tenant in the apartment. [5th to die. Coaxed to commit suicide by Luke.]

Luke. The new tenant in the apartment. A calm character who is unfazed by all the deaths occurring in the apartment. He is often seen offering a helping hand to Anna, hoping to offer her as much aid as he could in the difficult times in the apartment. One notable conversation that occurred between him and Anna was how she coped with the neighbours in the tenant, each with their unique personalities. Towards the end of the play, he is revealed to be the mastermind of the deaths of the tenants, claiming it was for Anna's sake, leading Anna to be in despair. In the end, he is actually a doctor treating Anna's multiple personality disorder.

Combined Arms Term Goals

Secret War Journal[December 2012][Updated 21 December 2012]

1. Survive
2. Recover from foot rot 
3. Meet up with Jie Sheng
4. Meet up with Meldon
5. No guard duty on 15 December 2012
6. Have so much fun, its criminal!
7. Pass out!

While I am enjoying, you will not be left behind! ;)

When happiness hurts

Secret War Journal[6 December 2012]
There comes a time when,
making other people happy leaves you with a bitter sweet smile.
When you feel that, at the back of your head, you wish that the person feeling happy could be you instead.

Times like this, you wonder why you would want to help other pursue their happiness.
Times like this, you just want to be selfish like the others and strive for your own happiness.

That well may be a dangerous thought.

Remember the times when seeing someone smile makes you smile too? The times when your deeds allowed another to be cheer up and you felt comforted?

Why has that feeling become so cold? Why do I no longer feel the warmth of happiness when I help others? Am I numb to happiness?

Perhaps, I had turned cold.

---

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

NTU Dorm

Secret War Journal[1 December 2012]
Today I was given an opportunity to see how a dorm looks like in NTU!

I have to thank Shereen and Erin for the invitation, hahas! I felt like some real estate buyer viewing their rooms. :P
--
Backtracking a bit before I tell you how's the rooms like in NTU Dormitory, before meeting Shereen and Erin in NTU, I met up with Keller and Qi Xiang for some LAN gaming first. Marcus was invited but he was summoned to the office to finish some pressing issues. I did not invite Johnston as I thought he had lessons that day. (As it turned out, Johnston did not have lessons that day. Ah, I feel so bad now. :( On the bright side, he should be studying for his upcoming examinations so I should not distract him. ^^)

We really caught up a lot since it has been what? 1 or 2 months since we last met Keller? That sure felt like a long time. Hahas!
--
A trip roundabout the train
After having a great time with Keller and Qi Xiang, playing DotA 2 the first time in 3 months, I headed off to NTU.

Only to realise it would take around 40 minutes to reach Boon Lay Station from Dhouby Ghaut. Oh dear, I am going to be late. Big time. Oops?

(I found out later that when they found out how long it was going to take to reach the place, Erin decided to take a nap in her room. LOL!)

To make matters worse, I did not realise that Boon Lay was not terminal station for the East-West Line. *Facepalms*
But hey! I had not reached the last stop of the train yet! I am still at least around 5 to 6 stops from Joo Koon, the last stop, according to the LED board on the train. Thus I made the realisation in time. *Beams brightly*

Unknown to me though, the LED board actually malfunctioned.

At the stop after Jurong East Interchange, the train came to a complete halt and an announcement were played, telling all passengers to alight. I was like, "what happened?"

I came out to realise I am at Joo Koon. *Facepalms*

Of all trains to have a malfunctioned LED board, I am in that one. Awesome. At this moment, I remembered laughing manically (which was kinda embarrassing) while calling Shereen to inform her that I would be even later than expected. I recalled her laughing as well when she heard the news. This was too stupid a mistake, hahas!
--
Palette

After all the trouble, I finally reached NTU. After meeting up with Shereen, we headed off to a (erm... restaurant? no,) cafe named Palette (I hope I spell correctly!)

Erin met us there, we managed to wake her up and got her to come over! Hahas! Oops, I am being mean. :P

It is a basically a cafe that serves western food while providing a place for people to study (ahem, I mean mug) though I think most prefer to just dine here and go back and study (I feel that it is less depressing and less troublesome, trust me)

As usual, I ordered chicken chop with black pepper sauce (which my father would have something to say if he finds out since I always order that when trying out new western restaurants or cafes. :P)

You would have to agree that it is a hard dish to screw up, no? Anyways...

We did quite a bit of catch up and Shereen gave me further pointers of what my Business course would entail when I enter the university. All in all, not very positive. :O
--
Bigger than expected?

The moment has come!

Entering Shereen's room made me realise that it was a lot bigger than I had expected.

Granted, I noticed later that there are actually 3 occupants in the room but it was supposed to be a room for 2. I believe it is bigger than a shoebox apartment?

I like the idea that they joined the beds together, leaving a moderate amount of space at one side. I think it is better than having that space in the middle, between the two beds instead because it makes the room appear smaller? (No to mention, the inability to lean on the wall, man that would suck! XD)

Mentioning about space, oh god the amount of books for Business course, alone! It is the first year and there is already a great number of thick books on the table for Business (plus, according to her, she is sharing textbooks with another coursemate, meaning the stack here is only half!) Oh god! (I just have to exclaim twice)

However, I felt that the room, despite the space, was still a bit confined due to the shape of the room. It gives one the feeling of stuffy, especially with the air conditioner being present in the room! (And the fact that you cannot use it! Gahh!!! Unless you pay of course, which you try not to because your school fees is just that high!)
I suppose it is not that bad when you open the windows. (Honestly, the only reason why I felt that way was because I saw the aircon in the room. Gahh! Don't get me started~!)

As I reached the University quite late, after snapping a few photos of each other and taking group photos, it is time to go.

Before that, Erin brought me to her room to see the difference between Halls. I did not spend long in her room though, just took note of the shape of the room and the size of the room (Cheryl, her roommate was sleeping. Awkward!)
Man, Erin's room is even bigger. I am going to aim for her hall! Hahahas!
--
Alright time to go home. Had a blast today!

*Nods off to dreamland in bus*

---

"It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense." - Robert Green Ingersoll

Dancing, still alive

Secret War Journal[27 November 2012]

Shed light upon visions

Secret War Journal[18 November 2012]

One of the funny thing about myself is that... I have a low memory lifespan. Many times had I mentioned that the reason I am blogging here is to record the events of my life so that I would remember the proceedings and also my feelings and thoughts then. Thus, I actually thought I posted this already but apparently not since I just got reminded about it recently.

To be frank, I am not really sure if I told anyone yet, hahas. For I know, I may just complete this post, only to realise I had typed this before. (Now, wouldn't that suck? Hahas)

---

Before I ended up in this current branch of the military, I had a vision seemingly foretelling me what would be my posting.

In the vision, I was a hunter but not an ordinary hunter like those portrayed in historic times.

The hunter/I was hunting with a bow (longbow? I cannot really tell since the vision did not focus greatly on the bow, rather the action.) that allowed one to shoot from great distances, different from historic hunting which only involves closer combat, even with bows. I am not sure what the prey was but I knew it was a high-value target, one to last me for days.

With that, the vision abruptly ended. You may think it may not mean much but it means something, for me. Visions are not exactly hard to come by but they are not frequent. Thus far, each tries to bring across a message. Though some helped me in how I lived my life, I admit that I could had done better if I had interpreted the meaning of the vision or did not misinterpret the vision.

At this point, you are probably wondering what am I trying to say. To this vision, I interpreted as being a sniper, since I was killing from afar.

A few weeks back, I thought I interpreted it correctly since I was selected for a sniper selection interview. At the back of my mind then, after hearing what's in store for me as a sniper, I knew I was not ready to be a sniper. At that point, the vision did not make sense to me. Was its purpose to foretell that I would be interviewed for selection as a sniper or did it mean something else totally?

I do not really know at that moment, thus I took a leap of fate and let God decide. I tend to do that when I do not understand the vision bestowed upon me is trying to tell me.

As fate has it, I was not going to be a sniper. Thus was my interpretation wrong. (No worries, I am sorta got used to it...)

The message that the vision was trying to relay was, I would kill from afar. Apparently (from how I understand it now, of course, I could be wrong... again), in historic times, the technology involved to portray a clearer message is not yet discovered, thus it had to improvise with arrows and bows (please don't ask me why, I do not know the mechanics of visions, yet).

In the end, I am now an artillery gunner. (Though I may not admit it freely, I am happy that I am part of the gunner family, compared to others)

Funny how visions play on our minds, huh? They let you peek but never the whole package. Devious little things, but I welcome them. :P

---

"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." - William Penn

TIme phase

Secret War Journal[23 November 2012]

Much has changed.

In the span of one hour, much change had occurred.


Returning from darkness, objects were moved from its original locations, (according to my knowledge, one hour ago), in an empty house apart from myself.

Furnitures are moved, items brought from one place to another.

No one entered nor exit the house. I was the only person in the house.
It certainly felt like a closed room mystery.

---

Another shift in the world lines and I had not even resolved all the conflicts in the previous one.
Guess God had decided I am needed more in this current world I am now in. I would need to find out what changed here, what are the differences between this world and the former.
At least the changes are less subtle then the last time, huh? Small comfort.

---

I felt the all-too-familiar headache when such incidents occur.

Roti Prata House

Secret War Journal[9 November 2012]

What better to celebrate the end of a short outfield exercise with a eat-out together with your section mates? :)

 I would say the pratas are really crispy, as advertised. Hahas!

The price for the normal roti prata - Plain and Egg are average though their speciality pratas are really costly. I tried one, the Chicken Floss Prata and it cost $4. T.T

In fact, I find the cost not exactly justified. It is funny when my friends can buy so many more pieces yet still paid less than me. Hahas!

Still, it was a nice supper with my section mates. :)

---

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six." - Yogi Berra

Artillery Specialist Course Wishlist

Secret War Journal[October 2012 - December 2012]
I finally thought up of some things to aim for during this course. :P

1. Survive
2. Pass IPPT / Obtain Silver for IPPT
3. Pass SOC
4. Pass General Knowledge Test
5. Get posted into a good unit