Holding on

Secret War Journal[12 May 2012]
Sometimes, I wonder how long can I last before I lose myself.

Close friends, I know I have the tendency to bottle things up. I owe you all an apology but some things are best left unsaid.

Some burden is best left shouldered alone.

In the past, I used to have time to cool off some bit because I get to get out and unwind.
Now, been in army during weekdays is taking a toll on me. Home, is well being home, as usual.
I wonder how long can I last.

I am trying to be myself.

I know that some of you are afraid of seeing me angry.
I am trying too,
trying to not show that side of me.
It is a darkness that is hard to return from once fully immersed.

The price for sanity.

I must admit,
occasionally, the other does appear but only once last year.
It will, it cannot, surface fully, especially for this period of time,
else all these years of anger management would had been for naught.

There is no return,

Maybe some day I would confide,
maybe some day I would just collapse,
maybe some day I would let go,
but I would wait for the day,
you unbind me,
from the chains of fate.

in the Path of Destruction.

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"Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him." - Louis L'Amour

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