TM: Social Etiquette

Secret War Journal[19 February 2011][TM Session #4]
This week marks the last week of the 2-week series of social etiquette by Ms Suzenne Zheng. Shall we begin?

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Useful things to take note for public events:

• Punctuality
• Refrain from asking personal questions
• Respect people's privacy

Tips for the actual day of interview:

• Come early
• Ask the reception who are the interviewers (to know how to address them) and for the interviewers' emails.
• Do not cross leg until determining interviewer is friendly

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Conversation Skills
General Tips:

• Silence your inner critic
• Begin with the obvious (conversation starter)
• Compliment carefully
• Use friendly body language
• Turn the spotlight on others - Be humble
• Listen
• Keep the conversation light
• Give equal time to other participants of the conversation (avoid one-sided conversations)
• Have a sense of humour
• Make your exit graciously
• Avoid personal questions

Salutations (how to address someone):

• You're not allowed to place titles on yourself when introducing yourself(e.g. Dr./Prof) unless you're in uniform
• Introduce yourself without the use of "Mr/Mrs/Miss/Mdm"

If Jane Low is married to Jonathan Tay, Jane should be addressed as either

1. Mrs Jonathan Tay
2. Mdm Low
3. Mrs Tay

Note: Addressing Jane as Mrs Jane Tay meant that she's a widow.
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How to introduce oneself:
"Good morning/afternoon/evening, Mr/Ms/Mdm [surname]. I'm [your name]. How do you do?"
How to introduce others:
"[Person A], please meet [Person B], [Profession of Person B]"
"[Person B], please meet [Person A], [Profession of Person A]"

Note:

• Attend to the more important person first. In this case, Person A is the more important person.
• By convention, women are more important than gentlemen
• If both people are of the same gender, the older one is the more important person.
• Business-wise, the ranking of the person is taken into account.
• Do not shake hands if the other party is Muslim ladies or monks (not appropriate)

How to introduce oneself in a phone call:
"Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, [your name] speaking"

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Email Etiquette

• Do not start with "Dear..." but rather "hi [recipient]" when ending an email with "Best Regards"
• No smileys
• No shorthands.

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After an email, email the interviewer a thank-you note.
Example: "Thank you for interviewing me. I can be reached at..."

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Dining Etiquette
Terminology:

• Aperitif-- An alcoholic drink taken as an appetizer before a meal.
• Entrée -- Main Course

Positioning:
Bread on your left; Drinks on the right

Ordering:
The gentlemen place order, not the ladies
E.g. "This lady wants [item], that man wants [item],..., [finally your own order]"

Breakfast:
Bread basket: Offer a bread to the left, take one for yourself, finally, pass the basket to the right.

Toast: Cut into 2 equal triangles (the standard); eat from the corners and one at a time.

Lunch/Dinner:

• Knife, at all times, cannot point outwards
• Fork, at all times, must face downwards

Buffet-style

• DO NOT take for others, take only your own servings
• Take at most 2 of the same item
• Follow the meal procedure (appetizer, main course, dessert), do not start with the desserts.

Functions

• The main focus is not on the food, mostly just drinking and socialising.

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Check your personality
There are four main types of personalities as described by her, namely:

1. Natural
• Sporty; casual dressing
• Suited for athletes or NS men
2. Classic
• Self disciplined; very organised
• Pedantic (Anal)
• Suited for auditors, accountants, etc
3. Dramatic
• Dress to express themselves (relate Lady Gaga)
4. Romantic
• Stylish; Best fashion sense among the four
• Outgoing; good interpersonal skills
• Suitable for entrepreneurs

By the request of Stephanie, here are some of our personalities, as analysed by Ms Zheng:

• Stephanie -- Natural Classic
• Leroy -- Very Classic
• Joshua -- Classic  

Note:

• It is also useful for relationships, less conflict would occur between the couple if their personality are the same.