Physics Major Joke

Secret War Journal[17 January 2011]

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

• if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• if you enjoy pain.
• if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
• if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
• if you always do homework on Friday nights.
• if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• if you think in "math."
• if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
• its wave function.
• if you have a pet named after a scientist.
• if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the
• Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
• if you can translate English into Binary.
• if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building
• which says "Exit."
• if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because
• there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
• if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the
• eventual heat-death of the universe.
• if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
• if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
• accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to
• Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
• if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
• if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
• easier.
• if you understood more than five of these indicators.
• if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

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Oh, believe me, how I wish for your death. Vengeance will be mine.