I never actually intended to have this post. I have another post in draft mode that was supposed to be published but there has been a turn of events in the past few days.
Amazing, I never expected this. It was never anticipated, I never expected you all to be dragged into this. It was supposed to be some other matters that I personally have to get into terms with.
But at this stage, it's getting hard to ignore. Too much hints dropped everywhere lately, too much implications at such a late stage. Yes, we're all fools. At least I am, that's for sure. Why didn't I foresee it, when I foresee other stuff that I cannot alter. Maybe I did, but it was so obscured, I actually messed up the timing of it. I didn't know it would be something so large a scale, something that would affect so many people, something that would affect people I know. That vision. That vision held people I never met before, how could I had known. How could I known God was trying to warn me. I'm a fool.
I should have known, that the devil moves with me. So my darkness comes, and I knew I had brought sadness and pain to many. I should be ashamed. I will rue this day, the day light turns thin, where many of us who were war-weary have to withstand this.
I think it is time to choose a side. Too long had I remained neutral. Too long had I idled. But memories of the past still ache, echoes in me, the consequences of intervening is extremely dire. Must it be so, is my presence that significant anyway?
But, this I cannot ignore. Too much is at stake. Debts need to be repaid. Brotherhood needs to be held. Promises need to be uphold.
Parties will be hurt, whether I like it or not.
Yet I hope to remain neutral after all this, I yearn for peace...there must be a way to resolve this peacefully, there must be a way to achieve a win-win solution.
History has taught us that no one wins a two-front war. Have mercy on my friend, why now? What have we done when we wish for peace? Is it my past sins? Is it my misgivings? Why attack my friends? Why can't you just target me instead. I deserve more blame than anyone else. My sins cannot be atone in this lifetime. God alone knows that. People died, sorrow, disappointment, if you have such hatred, then direct them to me instead.
I cannot win a three-front war, yet it seems part of God's designs that I would be a part of this.
Does anyone ever win a three-front war? I have no wish of finding out.
Nevertheless, I need to prepare. Perhaps the covert war had already begun without me knowing. I must be the slowest among them all...
In the end, no amount of anticipation could prepare us for this, huh?
And darkness rides once more...
