2014: paenitentia et destitutione

Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Secret War Journal[2014]
It had been a long year. Yet at the same time, it had been a rather short year. Contradicting, yes. Perhaps, that sentence itself describes how this year had been.
At the end of the day, the year balanced out to be somewhat average though that is only on the surface. On closer inspection, there were many negative thoughts throughout the year (yes, even now, evidently, by the theme of this year)

paenitentia

Unfortunately, there were many. The very first was probably the fact that I failed on one of my main goal for the entire 2014.[1][2] I must admit that I was severely distracted by many things. It is not anyone else's fault but mine. For I had allowed my will to waver and derailed from my goals. Money that was meant for other goals were diverted to activities on impulse. That generated a great amount of unnecessary spending.

Another aspect which should not be discussed in great detail but mentioned just in passing for memory's sake. We must always remember that this journal has since been made public.

Sometimes I question my decision to study here. Just sometimes.After all, most of my friends are in NUS. I have few connections in NTU. Yes, it is an opportunity to expand my social network greatly but it would had been a lot easier to meet new people through a mutual friend instead. Nevertheless, I had made my decision. I shall stand firm. Of course, there is an added reason of my closest friends being there...

Some people asks if I miss being in my old home [See here for context]. Occasionally, I do. However, for the most part, I really appreciate the kindness from my best friend's family. If not for them, I really am not sure where I would be today. For that, I have no regrets. On the hand, I do feel a certain level of guilt towards them. After all, I feel that I am being a burden to them, a burden that should not had been imposed on them... For that, I regretted that I could not contribute much. Here, I wished I learned more skills during the past few years, just so that I am more useful.

"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else." - Queen Latifah

destitutione

Towards the second half of the year, I began to really question the company of friends I am with. I guess it is to be expected as you grow older. You start to wonder if some of your friends are the source of your negative energy and consider going out of your comfort zone to meet people who energise you and nurture you into a better person.

Of course, part of being friends means accepting their flaws. Again, as was said above, I would expect them to accept my flaws as well. If they look down on you for trivial reasons, one naturally starts to look elsewhere there is a more nurturing community.
Disappointment is to be expected. Then again, I simply made too high expectations of them. Ever my flaw. I must always remember that few humans are worthy. As we had often discussed, the new generations are truly pitiful. It is hard for them to make genuine friends because most of them are hypocrites. If you cannot raise their social status, they would not want to be your friends. "Friends" in this age has become mere tools for climbing the social ladder. I wonder what does that make of acquaintance now? Food for thought. :) I can understand that for my current age because most of us are no longer concerned about making meaningful friends but instead trying to be successful. But at primary school? Now that is just sad.
I wonder how the future would be like, if that's the case...

My mood generally this year was not exactly great as well. That is yet another disappointment. While I am proud that I had achieved many goals this year. The fact remains that it all came at a great cost. It was a year of many mistakes, much compromise, much pressure. I lived a year of stress. All the achievements and victories were hard earned. None came easy and without blood and sweat. It may sound nice at the end of the day but it was very tiring, mentally draining.
Yes, it would had brought smiles at the end of the day but much would remain unseen and therefore unappreciated. If only I had more time to hone them, more focused on my task given to me. If only...

All these are just wistful wishing. Faced with the facts, the years ahead will no doubt be tough but in no way not rewarding. I am assailed by many sides but I believe that if I play my cards right, I have a chance in coming out ahead. Ahead. Ahead of those hypocrites and imbeciles.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Looking ahead

For all its ups and downs, 2014 is coming to a close. Be it that we are glad or sad, 2015 is coming straight at us.

[See post here]

2014 saw 6 out of 9 of my goals completed. Not a very nice score but satisfactory nevertheless. Some of the goals I might be actually secretly glad that I did not fulfill. One example would be the goal to go overseas this year. Looking at the number of aviation disasters this year. It might not had been a bad idea to give this year's overseas plan a miss. (That said, it should be still safe to travel since they had since beefed up the safety measures.) Looking forward, some of the goals would appear in the 2015 goals again. (I apologise, the 2015 goals is behind schedule and therefore not out yet. I would try to publish it as soon as possible on New Year Day)

Hopefully, I get to see many more people smiling by the end of 2015. :)

Until then, with 2 more minutes left for 2014, I wish you all a merry new year!
Credits: http://creativemisha.com/

Night at the Museum 3

Secret War Journal[31 December 2014]
Happy New Year's eve, people! I finally have some time to catch a movie with Emelia and Johnston. Originally, the plan was to get Emelia's (late) christmas present. We still bought it but we caught a movie first.

To be frank, I did not realise today was New Year's Eve until I realised I could not use any vouchers I had obtained because they were mostly not valid on the eve of a public holidays. -,-

Yeah, I am slow that way. I just took whatever free day we all had. You cannot blame me, right?

Back to the point, after a quick lunch at Ajisens, we went for the movie. Did you know SAFRA discounts for Shaw is not valid on the eve of public holidays? I did not. Dang, so many privileges missing on this kind of days. We must had chosen the wrong day, oops.

The show generally was not that bad. Not groundbreaking but decent. I would say you should spend your money on movie tickets on some other show though. Why? Well, it is my view that one should spend your precious coins on a great movie. Unfortunately, Night at the Museum is not such a movie. It is great for watching at the comforts of your home though.

Whether it is suitable for families to watch, however, I am undecided on this. Much humour is lost on the younger children though I would think the CG would impress them. Ultimately, it is your call whether this show is suitable for your family to watch.

“To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” - Nelson Mandela

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Secret War Journal[19 December 2014][Spoiler Alert]
#OneLastTime
The final chapter of the Hobbit Trilogy has finally hit the cinemas! Along with me are Darian, Johnston, Meldon, Qi Xiang, Jie Sheng, Kai Yeat, Joel, Jodie, Jasper.

The movie started right where the previous film stopped at (think Harry Potter) where the dragon flew towards Lake-Town. Personally, I felt that this first scene, while could be a fitting epic start for this movie, would be more of an fitting conclusion for the previous film (I guess the temptation to have a cliffhanger was just too strong, huh.)

The soundtrack for the exchange between Lake-Town and Smaug was a bit lacklustre. It played a sad tune for the sacking of Lake-Town which was appropriate but at the cost of making the fight very dull. The slaying of Smaug felt without consequence even though it did.

The fight scenes throughout the movie felt repetitive after the third fight when you can predict with high accuracy what is going to happen next. Still, it was entertaining to watch.

In the Battle of Five Armies, you could see that each army is only here for their own selfish reasons and that the opinion of a wizard is not very greatly valued. Fortunately, the immediate threat of the orcs quickly convinced them that it is a threat that needs to be dealt with first.

Finally, the values that the characters embody were meaningful. The resolution of the Dwarven King was while rushed, significant. It touched on the temptations of Greed and how it could cloud one's reasoning.

Random: Notice that they did not really show how the remaining armies resolve the problem of splitting the treasure or did I miss it?


That's my dinner! 21 inches baby!

"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being." - Jackie Robinson

Xperia Z3

Thursday, December 18, 2014
Secret War Journal[10 December 2014]
It has been a little past one year since I had gotten my phone Xperia V. [See here for my thoughts on Xperia V]

I know it has been a short time but it really felt that a lot of time had passed by. In fact, I just gotten a new phone today. (Wow)

Introducing the latest Sony Flagship phone: Xperia Z3.

Specifications

Copper Bronze Version
Weight
152 grams

Dimensions
146 x 72 x 7.3 mm

Battery
3100 mAh
Talk time: up to 16 hours
Standby time: up to 920 hours
Music listening time: up to 130 hours
Video playback time: up to 10 hours

Display
5.2" Full HD (1920x1080 pixels)

On the inside
Google Android 4.4 (Kitkat)
Snapdragon 2.5 GHz Qualcomm Quad-core

Camera
20.7 MP camera with auto focus
2.2 MP front-facing camera
ISO 12800

Durability
Waterproof and dust tight (IP65 and IP68)

Initial Thoughts

The thought process to getting this phone this holidays was really quite nerve-wrecking. Xperia Z3 was released just last month, November. As such, one would imagine the price to be quite hefty. Of course, it is not as expensive as the new Samsung Galaxy Note (I am a bit surprised by that.)

The price tag did make me reconsider if I should get this phone at a later time. However, for some reasons or another, I decided to spend a bit more this time to get it.

The overall monthly mobile subscription is lower, for which I am glad. I may not be getting another phone for the next 2 years if my plan succeeds.

Review

Battery Life
I believe one of the most important features of modern smartphones are its battery life. Initial test with full brightness allowed the phone to last slightly over 24 hours. I am planning to continue to use full brightness throughout though it is unlikely that it will last the whole day if I start to play the more graphically intensive games.

tl;dr: Definitely will last >1 day for casual use

Camera
With a 20.7 MP back camera, few phones can compete with this power house. Using the camera gave very sharp and clear images. The numerous different camera modes available in the Sony arsenal helps to differentiate itself from other smartphones. This allows for a variety of entertainment to you and your friends when taking pictures together or of things.

(One funny thing that happened to me but worth mentioning was the fact that I actually forgot to remove the plastic wrapper covering the back cover, including the rear camera. As a result, the initial images I took were very grainy and poor in quality. I was very shocked then, not aware of my mistake, and I was almost convinced that the phone was defective since the showcase model camera took very clear images. Just as I was about to give up, I realised my mistake. Imagine my relief. Hahas.)

However, the front camera leaves much to be desired. While it is an improvement from previous models, a 2.2 MP front camera is not very useful for taking selfies. Compared to their Samsung Galaxy counterparts, for selfie lovers, it would be better if you consider an Iphone or Samsung Galaxy S5 instead. The pictures taken from the front camera were not as clear, obviously, and are kind of grainy and blurred. It responds poorly in poor lighting as well.

In conclusion, it is a phone that is best for taking pictures of beautiful moments and group pictures. It is not as ideal for taking selfie though it can get by with that reasonably.

tl;dr: Good rear camera, bad for selfie due to front camera's low MP.

Weight
Weight is less of an issue nowadays as all the phones are of similar weight. If you must, this phone is very light, weighing only around 100g. For first time users who are never owned phones of similar weight, it will take some time to accustomise yourself to remember that you are actually holding an phone due to its light weight.

Extras
Unique to Sony Xperia series, though less not with the newer phones from other manufacturers, the phone is waterproof and dustproof. This is useful in the event water seeps into your phone and your prized possession malfunctions as a result.

I had a friend whose phone's motherboard was toast when sweat entered the phone (incredible but it happens). This is why it is better to invest in a phone which is waterproof to prevent such things from happening. (Waterproof does not protect the phone from sweat but the design to allow the phone to be waterproof would prevent sweat from seeping into the phone's inner working. Hence, it is protected.)

With that, I hope I gave you some pointers to consider what phone to get this Christmas. Sony Xperia series may not be the first choice among consumers but it is one of the good phones out there. If you must, I would recommend to only consider between Iphone, Samsung Galaxy series, and Sony Xperia series. See ya!

Big Hero 6

Friday, December 5, 2014
Secret War Journal[5 December 2014]
Big Hero 6 is the latest Disney Movie. I managed to catch the movie during a catch-up session with Meldon and Qi Xiang.

Synopsis
The special bond that develops between plus-sized inflatable robot Baymax, and prodigy Hiro Hamada, who team up with a group of friends to form a band of high-tech heroes.
Trailer

Personal Opinion
It was a pretty standard movie in my opinion. The plot was simple and the ending was predictable. However, one of the greatest flaw of this film was the lack of character development. Based on character development, it is questionable who exactly is the main character - Hiro? Baymax? That aside, there was little love for the side characters, probably due to the limitations of time and budget (seriously, 90+ minutes? Dang) One plot twist got me, the identity of the villain. It would be difficult to guess correctly the villain given the lack of foreshadowing for that character. (Only one! The rest of the suspects had so many 'clues' pointing to them being villain. I feel cheated.) Overall, the decisions made by Hiro generally lacked impact that it otherwise should had. The movie could be better but it is not bad in bringing laughter to the audience.

Verdict: 7/10 (Well, it did bring a good laugh to me for a good part of the movie) *shrugs*

EOY Wishlist 2014

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Secret War Journal[2 December 2014][Updated 30 December 2014]
And... the holidays are finally here. Finals was a crazy thing to handle. First ever Finals for the University!

All right, while I am at it, I would be continuing my dozens of incomplete posts during the holidays. I owe you guys (and myself) that much.

Things I want / need to be accomplished:

  1. Get a part-time job (this is going to be tough)
  2. Complete Dragon Age: Origins (postponed big time due to finals)
  3. Complete Dead Space 2 (Just got my hands on it. :O)
  4. Study C
  5. Get Xperia Z3 
  6. Watch the Hobbit
  7. Go for AFA
  8. Do up a Combineset V Poster
  9. Celebrate Christmas
  10. Fix my old shoe and trousers
  11. Get a External Hard Disk

[Art] Tinkle

Sunday, November 9, 2014
Secret War Journal[9 November 2014]
Recently I managed to get my hands on the work of Mitsuya Chakai. [Link]

I am still in the midst of reading through the book right now. I wish I could look through it at a faster pace but examinations are coming soon. Sigh.

I really like his illustrations too. That was the main reason why I decided to get a copy in the first place. (Opps)

Here are some of his illustrations (that I can find on the Internet):
 photo Mitsuyachakai037_zps3881e058.jpg

Career Guide by Universum

Saturday, November 8, 2014
Secret War Journal[8 November 2014]
Take the test here!
You are a(n)
Leader
LEADERS are able to see the big picture in any situation, which helps them inspire both their teams and themselves. They prefer the numerous benefits of working with others in a team environment, rather than being a "lone-wolf". Leaders aren’t afraid of being responsible for situations. They see responsibility as something to be desired and sought after. Because they understand that, their success or failure is ultimately in their own hands. Leaders are also quite introspective; they can look inward and assess themselves honestly and, when necessary, harshly. Before starting their careers, leaders are often involved in various types of organizations, and are often responsible for the founding and growth of projects.

Your comparison to your peers from National University of Singapore, Singapore

Understanding what you're worth is important when entering the workforce. Use the below to benchmark your expectations against your peers, your gender and the average salary expectation from over 1 million students.


Suggested Employers

Based on your survey data. Below are employers that, based on your answers, match your profile.

Start to build your relationship with these companies by joining their social career pages to learn more about what they do, who works there and if they could be a good future match for you!


  1. Microsoft
  2. Morgan Stanley
  3. Samsung
  4. J.P. Morgan
  5. BP
  6. Dell
  7. Apple
  8. Intel
  9. HP
  10. Marina Bay Sands

Fear people like us

Saturday, October 25, 2014
Secret War Journal[25 October 2014]
Fear. People had always tried to bring down people they fear.
Fear. It would be our undoing.


A Sunday Summarised

Sunday, October 12, 2014
Secret War Journal[12 October 2014]
Visited my home once more. Beautiful Palace.

Listened to an agent explaining some agency laws.

Felt like a field operative while walking back home - a laptop bag on my left, my army slingbag on my right, my army field bag on my back.

Yep, how I spent my sunday. Not very productive, but quite enriching.

Hope of Morning

Thursday, October 2, 2014
Secret War Journal[2 October 2014]
I found this song quite meaningful. Enjoy while I am rushing my assignments. :)



My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast
Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past
The last mistake, the choice I made
Staring in the mirror with myself to blame
Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside
Nowhere to hide inside my mind
I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll look a lifetime past repair
I second guess myself to death, I re-solicit every step
What if my words are meaningless? What if my heart's misleading this?
I try to capture every moment as it comes to me
Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight
When I'm old and grey, or thirty, or whatever happens first,
I'll need you to reassure me I didn't waste a verse
Or worse, what if my life's work is reduced to just myself
Like never let you get a word in, while I dissect my mental health
Or lack thereof, whatever, there's too many things to track
I really can't remember if I'm insane or insomniac
Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves
Trade up made up epidemics, pass around prescription pills
But my disorder can't be cured by a bottle, blade, or dose
Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close
But I don't wanna let you see that, I don't want my friends to know
Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight
Try as I might to keep it together
Why is recovery taking forever
Fool the whole world, just until I get better
I'm terrified I'll be faking forever
On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head
I don't have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did
All the pain I can't explain away won't fade
All the the secrets silenced by the shame
Don't make me say it [x7]
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight

Entrepreneurship Analysis

Monday, September 8, 2014
Secret War Journal[8 September 2014]


My Scores

Student's Name: LIM LEROY
Date of Survey: 08 September, 2014

Your ENTREPRENEURIAL Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for NTU studentsWhere you stand among NTU studentsLowModerateHighVery High
Motivation 3.003.02High
Intent 4.002.71Very High
Efficacy 2.572.99Moderate

Your PROFESSIONAL Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for NTU studentsWhere you stand among NTU studentsLowModerateHighVery High
Motivation 3.833.84High
Intent 4.753.76Very High
Efficacy 3.403.43Moderate

Your LEADERSHIP Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for NTU studentsWhere you stand among NTU studentsLowModerateHighVery High
Motivation 3.833.57High
Intent 5.003.70Very High
Efficacy 3.143.30Moderate

Your ENTREPRENEURIAL Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for
Undergraduate students
Average score for
Business students
Average score for
Male students
Motivation 3.003.013.033.08
Intent 4.002.682.662.78
Efficacy 2.572.963.193.08

Your PROFESSIONAL Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for
Undergraduate students
Average score for
Business students
Average score for
Male students
Motivation 3.833.813.913.85
Intent 4.753.733.773.77
Efficacy 3.403.343.363.52

Your LEADERSHIP Career Aspiration 

Your average scoreAverage score for
Undergraduate students
Average score for
Business students
Average score for
Male students
Motivation 3.833.603.663.58
Intent 5.003.713.913.74
Efficacy 3.143.273.393.37
N of Undergraduate students = 11,501; N of Business students = 2,153; N of Male students = 7,404

Career development opportunities in NTU

In this section, we hope to bring to your awareness some of the opportunities available in NTU for you to further develop your knowledge and skills on entrepreneurship, professional and leadership careers. This list is by no means exhaustive and we encourage you to find out more beyond this page.

General career development:

  • Career-related course(s) in NTU: HP8002 Working in the 21st Century by School of Humanities and Social Sciences
  • NTU Career & Attachment Office (CAO) – The CAO provides a comprehensive range of career such as services attachment or internship opportunities and to prepare you for the workplace.

Entrepreneurship:

  • Makan Night – an informal networking session organised by NTU Ventures that gathers start-up founders and professionals. It is held on the last Friday of every month at NTU Ventures @ Innovation Centre. Look out for the monthly emailer for more details.
  • Ad-hoc events and workshops – Look out for the emailer or check their website (see above url)
  • Besides events and workshops, NTU Ventures also provides incubation and mentoring support should you wish to start your business soon.
Nanyang Technopreneurship Center (NTC)
http://www3.ntu.edu.sg/ntc/
  • Minor in Entrepreneurship program by NTC, consisting of 16 Academic Units (AUs)
  • Entrepreneurship & Innovation Weekan annual week-long celebration (usually in August) with entrepreneurship-themed events
  • Startup Design Week – a multi-day bootcamp on how to start a business. Look out for the emailer or contact NTC for more information.
  • ideas.inc business challenge - an annual business competition organised by NTC where you can validate your business ideas with experienced entrepreneurs and stand a chance to win some prize money and start-up funding. Do visit its website for more info,http://www.ideasinc.sg/
Student Clubs

Specialised professions:

  • Formal academic training and job exposure are also essential in your professional growth. You may wish to contact your school’s administration or the CAO for advice on NTU’s academic courses, seminar talks, events, and industrial/professional attachments.
  • There are many professional communities where you can meet fellow students with common interests. More information can be found in your school’s website or you can refer to the clubs & communities page:http://www.ntu.edu.sg/CampusLife/Clubs/Pages/default.aspx
  • The Centre for Continuing Education (CCE) of NTU provides continuing education programmes and services for NTU alumni and others who are keen to advance their knowledge and learn practical skills. For more info about the professional development courses provided by CCE, please visit: http://www3.ntu.edu.sg/cce/Prof_Dev_Course/default.htm

Leadership:

  • Leadership opportunities are plentiful in the campus for you to experience what it is like to manage as a leader. You can be part of the Students’ Union executive committee or the Union Council, or assume a leadership role in the committees of Halls of Residence, clubs & societies or sports teams. Do visit the following pages to learn more about these student organisations.
    http://www.ntu.edu.sg/CampusLife/Clubs/Pages/default.aspx
    http://su.ntu.edu.sg/?cat=16
  • There are a few leadership & management courses that you can take as electives, such as Leadership in the 21st Century (course code: BU8642) and Fundamentals/Principles of Management (course code: BU8601/BE2601). You may search for leadership & management courses at https://wish.wis.ntu.edu.sg/webexe/owa/aus_subj_cont2.main
  • Some schools also administer their own leadership progammes, such as the School of Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering’s Leadership Development Programme. You may refer to your school’s website for the availability of such initiatives.

About the EPL framework

The EPL framework: A holistic assessment of career aspirations

In today’s ever-changing globalised economy with growing opportunities and challenges, it is uncommon that people adhere to a single career track. Increasingly, people make mid-career switches to other professions or specialisations. While furthering their careers, many are tasked to do something they have never done before, such as leading a huge organisation or developing a brand new product. There is a need for people to acquire a diverse set of skills and knowledge in preparation for a dynamic, multi-dimensional career. In view of these trends, the NTU Career Aspiration Study (CAS) seeks to develop a comprehensive and holistic framework of career aspirations, assessing people’s career inclinations in a three-dimensional space: Entrepreneurship (E), Professional (P) and Leadership (L).
Using this multi-dimensional framework, the NTU CAS enables a better understanding of how these three career forms, E, P & L, relate to one another (Chan et al., 2012). CAS examines not just the intended career path of individuals, but also their motivations and self-efficacies associated with each career form. In doing so, CAS provides a comprehensive understanding of a person’s career aspiration.
This report is intended to help you understand your aspirations towards entrepreneurship, professional and leadership careers. The results reported based on your survey summarise your inclinations towards each of the three highlighted career forms. It is important to note that any inferences drawn from the report must be further validated against other sources of information not provided by the survey. All information in the report is confidential and should be treated responsibly.

Intent, motivation and efficacy

The report takes into consideration three aspects in examining the career aspirations of the individual; namely, the intent, motivation and self-efficacy towards each of the three EPL career aspirations.
Motivation refers to a person’s level of interest or enthusiasm towards a particular career form. CAS also assesses a person’s self-efficacy, i.e., his or her perceived capabilities to succeed. The EPL framework hypothesises that career motivation and self-efficacy are determinants of a person’s career intent, which measures his or her readiness or conviction towards each of the EPL career forms.
As you read through the report, it is important to keep these definitions in mind. For example, it is important to remember that these measures are not the same as actual abilities, and do not necessarily or directly translate into performance.

Norm group: NTU CAS Survey

NTU CAS survey comprises 14,129 complete responses from NTU undergraduate and postgraduate students (male: 53%; female: 47%). The mean age of the respondents was 22.73 (age range: 16 to 57).
Reference: Chan, K.Y., Ho, M.H.R., Chernyshenko, O.S., Bedford, O., Uy, M.A., Gomulya, D., Sam, Y.L., Phan, W.M.J. (2012). Entrepreneurship, professionalism, leadership: A framework and measure for understanding boundaryless careers. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 81, 73–88.